Monthly Archives: November 2013

“Sigh No More”

Please read the previous blog,’In Search of the ‘One’: the poem below will resonate better. If you prefer songs of unrequited love: there are numerous. “Cecilia” by Simon & Garfunkel or something more recent perhaps, such as Adele’s song,”Set Fire to the Rain” may inspire you as well.

Shakespeare’s poem is about converting the pain and suffering to self-love and joy. So dance, sing, and laugh. The pain of being alone can be very real and powerful, but it isn’t unique. The conversion from pain to serenity will happen-in time. Sigh no more.

Sigh No More

By William Shakespeare

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more.
    Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea, and one on shore,
    To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
    And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
    Into hey nonny, nonny.
Sing no more ditties, sing no moe
    Of dumps so dull and heavy.
The fraud of men was ever so
    Since summer first was leafy.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
    And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
    Into hey, nonny, nonny.

In Search of the “One”

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When single, it is often a challenge to meet that special someone who will fulfill one’s dreams, desires and, of course, there are the more practical issues to consider–similar values and goals. So where and how does one find that special someone who could be the ‘whole package’?

Many people will talk of why they should look for someone to be a partner with, usually it goes something like this, “I will be less lonely: I will have the family I always longed for.” But the how often remains more elusive.

People often have lists of where they may go to meet that special someone. Online dating seems to be very popular; going to the gym, bar, art galleries, even the supermarket may be on the list. But other questions abound: Should I be more flirtatious? Should I impress more? Should I call more, or less, or not at all? The questions are endless and lead nowhere and everywhere.

So let me introduce you to Marilyn. She is an intelligent, attractive, and charming young woman. She meets many men that could be potential good partners. She states that her suitors are interested in going beyond the casual dating situation with her. But one by one, they somehow do not meet the grade. Marilyn begins to feel frustrated and eventually saddened. “I will live a life of loneliness,” she laments.

One day Marilyn meets Lawrence. He is enthralled with her beauty and intelligence. Marilyn wonders what is wrong with him? How can he be that enthralled in such a short time. It just can’t be so? Marilyn creates a wall, a barrier, a gigantic sign that states, “there’s something wrong with you for admiring me?” But he reads the sign as, “I don’t like you, nor want you.” Lawrence feels discouraged and decides that he is going about dating all wrong. He decides not to pursue Marilyn- not because he isn’t interested in her, but because he believes that he simply is not up to snuff.

Marilyn, unbeknownst to herself, is disparaging not to her suitors but to herself. She does not see herself as others see her: attractive, intelligent and interesting. So whoever her suitor may be chances are there will be something wrong with him because there is something wrong with her.

Marilyn is unaware of the fact that the more a man desires her, the less desirable he becomes to her. And the more he retreats from her, the more enticing he becomes. She is in the impossible state of denial and frustration. She lives a life of constant short lived romances, if she manages to get that far with a suitor. The men she does manage to date more than a few times-tend to disappoint her. At times, she will try to convince herself that relationships aren’t that important. But other times, she will look in the mirror and wonder why she isn’t in a relationship yet? The key for Marilyn is to get in touch with a part of herself that is highly critical of herself.