Many a young girl has harmlessly picked at a daisy’s petals and wistfully uttered the words of “he loves me, he loves me not.” But what occurs when a woman’s thoughts steer her again and again to those words. Does he love me? Or does he not?
Peggy Sue in my earlier entry is a fictitious woman who waits for Jeremy to make up his mind. She at times feels his love and intense passion, and yet other times he feels vacuous. What did she do or say wrong for him to get distant?
Unfortunately, Peggy Sue is hooked on the feeling of being “in love.” There is a difference in the feeling of being “in love” and the act of having someone show respect, admiration, care and tenderness. Yes, of course, in the latter case, a woman could experience the courtship and romance, and simultaneously have the feeling of “being in love.”
By the way, men also can get hooked on the feeling of love and waiting for the other to deliver the goods. But for the sake of the characters invented, I will continue with Peggy Sue. She is generally an outgoing, cheerful type, and has many friends, but she is compelled to search for him. The one who will love her and finally complete her. As a result, she has a string of failed relationships and is unclear why.
When Jeremy is around and attentive, she glows. She feels life can be so easy and happy. He loves me! But when he withdraws. She feels the pangs of hurt, pain, and the world once beautiful begins to crumble to rubble. Peggy Sue knows there is something she does wrong. She tries to be more attentive, more flirtatious, sexier, funnier-anything! But more often than not, Jeremy retreats and is vague and cryptic about his feelings. As her world crumbles and she retreats into depression, he miraculously returns.
What is not apparent to Peggy Sue is that the more she pursues the more anxious Jeremy becomes. He becomes overwhelmed with her neediness. When she retreats, he feels less engulfed and willing to engage with her. But this high and low tide exhausts both of them. He never feels he gives enough and she is perpetually in the limbo state of “he loves me, he loves me not.”